Today I just miss my little man...so much that I hurt all over, centering in my heart.
Today, I just wish I had held him...just once, for just one memory.
Today, I wish I had run my finger over the soft skin of his face, so I could have the memory of him imbedded in my skin.
Today, I wish I had just once put my face to his tiny head and breathed in his scent, so at night when I lay down I can imagine, for just a moment, that I have a piece of him with me…if only a memory.
Today, I wish I had nuzzled his hair, memorized each strand as it touched my cheek, so I could remember how it felt when I feel like I have nothing left.
Today, for the first time, I wish I had been stronger in the moment I needed to be.
Today, not for the first time, I hate myself for being weak and not wanting to look reality in the face.
Today, I just wish I could have that moment back. The only moment I had. The only moment I would ever have. The moment I can’t ever have again.
Today, I live and breathe regret with everything that is in me.
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